Perfectly being imperfect

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Back in 2010 I posted my very first YouTube video online. I was just 12 years old and dedicated to become “a good You-tuber”. At that time, it was a miracle when you had 5k subscribers. From one thing comes the other, so I started my first blog recently after that. Its name was unpronounceable and the content was, well, questionable. However, I had lots of fun while filming and creating content for my small blog.
Around the time I had 150 subscribers, I deleted my YouTube account. I was too insecure and too afraid that classmates would come across my YouTube channel. I continued writing for my blog and I have had several blogs since. Nonetheless, as I grew older, my perfectionism and performance anxiety started to develop. Unfortunately, it didn’t took long until I completely quit blogging.

The desire to create a new place for me where I can share my thoughts in public has grown over the past few years, but every time I was too critical about the posts I wrote. So eventually, I always ended up publishing nothing online.

Sometimess you have to expose yourself to your greatest fears in order to achieve your greatest successes.

 

Tonight I came up with this quote. A friend asked whether I knew a suitable caption for her Instagram photo. The photo was from a shoot where she posed naked. It had a vulnerable ambiance to it, and according to her, it was a nerve-breaking experience to expose herself in front of the camera like that. She recognized herself in the quote and later used it on her Instagram.

 

Great when you discover that you have the ability to come up with deep Instagram wisdom like you’re some kind of 100-years-old woman, but what is the value of it when you don’t act on your own advice?

 

Therefore, I want to take the first step in battling my fear of imperfection by finally publishing my first post on this blog. Although various people around me have inspired me to battle my urge to make everything perfect, writing this still feels quite daunting. I also must admit that I have just asked a friend whether or not I could put this on the internet. Oops.

 

I know this is quite a personal topic to discus with you in my first blog post and I am not planning to continue my blog this heavy-toned in the future. However, I felt it was important to share this piece of information about myself. Personally, I know a lot of people who conquer with the same problem and maybe I can encourage someone who recognize themselves in this.

 

Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone in order to achieve something great?  

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9 thoughts on “Perfectly being imperfect

  1. I can total relate, took me some time to start blogging though I always wanted to but I did my first one today and I feel kinda relieved.

  2. I felt a bit uneasy sharing personal experiences with strangers on the internet. I first started off anonymous, deleted that blog and then a year later made my current one. WordPress I feel, is a very safe place full of understand and kind people. They are supportive and inspirational. I’ve come to a good place and I hope your experience here is as positive as mine. Good luck. 🙂

  3. I hope to see more content from you! I am afraid of working on my YouTube – my blog, I’m totally ok with because people don’t see me. It’s simply words on the screen, but with video, I don’t have the time to articulate my words and I’m afraid my voice, my looks, my mannerisms will be judged. But, like you, im planning to face that fear and create content.

    Natalie | Holistic health, Lifestyle, & Travel

    • I totally relate to that! YouTube is quite daunting, because you are giving people a lot of personal information to judge about. Keep me updated when you have posted your first video! ♥

  4. […] I want my blog and YouTube channel to be connected in the future, so the language should be the same. Well, it may seem logical to make videos in English too right? Writing in English feels really natural for me, but with speaking this is not always the case. Is my speech without grammar mistakes? Do I have an accent? Ironically, this is exactly what I discussed in my first article. […]

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